Scenes From A Dot-Com Bankruptcy

Parody lyrics by Chris Chin
June 1, 2001

NASDAQ is up...NASDAQ is down
Perhaps the market is in rebound
We'll buy options on the side
And give ten-year bonds a try
Dot-coms fail...who knows why?

The markets will rise...The markets will fall
It all depends upon a margin call
I'll meet you at the SEC
To file our dot-com bankruptcy

(sax interlude)

Things were okay in the good ol' days
Had a good job, had a good office
Had a good staff, had a good laugh
And the cashflow was fine
We lost funding long ago
Lost backers
I did not know
You could lose your venture cap in so
Little time

I remember those days dining out
Lunch at Yank Sing
Kuleto's downtown, Amberjack,
We were tech-stock kings
Oh, you drop a grand on a tab
At the bar at Fleur de Lys
Fast days, hot nights
My tech-stock-option-fuelled life

(ragtime interlude)

(piano break)

Cisco and Nortel had a virtual cartel
Like Oracle, Netscape, and Sun
Making the products and profits that made the Internet run
Nobody looked any safer
Or were less of a risk -- at least on paper
We never thought that the market might soon take a dive
Surely Cisco and Nortel were stocks that would always survive

Cisco and Nortel were still selling stock well in the summer of '99
When they announced third-quarter reports showed profits were fine
Nobody knew they were lying
They wanted to keep the momentum flying
Nortel could hardly afford to get caught in a lie
So they fired some workers without even saying goodbye

We rented a spot while the market was hot
And went public without any fears
We got Goldman Sachs and Bear-Stearns had our back
We were good for a couple of years
But our burn rate was high and we couldn't get by
And we soon found ourselves in arrears

(sax solo)

We struggled a while in a floundering style
But it turned out the same in the end
We filed for protection from Chapter 11
And borrowed some cash from our friends
We tried some consulting but found it insulting
And swore we'd never go back there again...

The tech-market flatline was still making headlines
And the year was two-thousand and one
From the high to the low to the end of the show
One heck of a run
An adjustment is being debated
For the tech-market stocks were too inflated
Greenspan will have to bring down the prime rate to get by
And so that's the end of my stock crash confession
I hope I survive this latest recession
And here we are waving our tech-stock profits goodbye


Markets go up...ooh, markets go down
Whatever happens, I'll be around
We're still partners, you and me
In our dot-com bankruptcy

(saxophone outro to coda)


[original song]