Nobody Wants To Be Homely

Parody lyrics by Chris Chin
May 2001

Verse 1 (Ricky)
Here I am
In a darkened room
And I'm all alone
Looking in the mirror
My face has sagged and lost that youthful glow
I'm a washed-up has-been

Here I stay in the closet
Run and hide, run and hide
Can't you see that

Chorus (Christina)
Nobody wants to be homely
Nobody wants to cry
Your body's bent and decrepit
So old it hurts inside
Youth is precious and it's slipping away
Cosmetic surgery might just save your life
Nobody wants to be homely, so why...
Why don't you get a facelift?

Verse 2 (Christina)
Can you fix my nose?
Can you fix my lips?
Can you dermabrade
So my pores are smaller?
I want to push Britney down the stairs
Like in "Showgirls", baby

Before I start getting saggy
Fix my tits, fix my tits
'Cause they're too small

Chorus (Ricky)
Nobody wants to be homely
Nobody wants to cry
Your tits are too big for your tubetop
And it can't keep them inside
Breasts are precious 'cuz they're what pays the bills
And without them you'd be poor all your life
Nobody wants to be homely, so why...
Why don't you get your chest fixed?

Bridge (both)
I want to feel young again
Just like it used to be
I need the fan's attention
Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk away, don't walk away
No no no no
Nobody wants to be homely
Nobody wants to cry

Chorus and outro (both)
Nobody wants to be homely
Nobody wants to cry
I need another hit single
Or my career will die
Stardom's fleeting and it's slipping away
What will I do for the rest of my life?
Nobody wants to be homely, so why...
Why don't you get some talent?

Nobody wants to be old news
Nobody wants bad press
"Hey boy, you look kinda haggard"
"Oh, girl, you're just such a mess"
Tabloids are cruel and they're coming your way
You won't live it down the rest of your life
Nobody wants last month's flavour, so why...
Why are you still so pathetic?

[notes]

[original song]

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