Paradise
By The PC Screen

Parody lyrics by Chris Chin
September 12, 2000

(Boy One)
(Boy Two)


ACT I. Paradise

I remember every little thing
Because it happened only yesterday
Stuck in AOL
Without a chance of love in sight
And I never got a GIF
Looking any better in real life
And all these guys online
One of them could be with me tonight

And now you post your stats, your profile checks
We trade our pics, some G, some X
And my face is a-glowing by the light of the screen
My face is a-glowing by the light of the screen
C'mon! You've got mail!
C'mon! You've got mail!
Though it's cold and lonely in this cyber dream
I can cruise by the light of my PC screen

Ain't no doubt about it
Babe you better wait
Because I'm barely seventeen
And I'm jailbait

Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it

Ain't no doubt about it
You know you better wait
Geez you're barely seventeen
You're still jailbait.

Gotta listen to my brain
My heart is drowning out my common sense
I've been waiting so long
For you to come along and have some fun

And we gotta be discreet
When we do it or we're gonna regret it
Open up your thighs I got a big suprise
It'll be real tight
I'm gonna make my little Chicken Run

And I'll hold you close all through the night
It's gonna feel so good, it's gonna feel so tight
We'll be fucking by the glow of the monitor screen
Fucking by the glow of the monitor screen
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!

Though it's cold and lonely for a young gay teen
I've been cruising this boy through my PC screen
Yes it's cold and lonely for a young gay teen
Cruising boys through my PC screen

You got to stay out of chat
And let AOL do the rest
Ain't no doubt about it
That I gotta wait
Cause the kid's just seventeen
And he's jail--

I wanna go all the way tonight
I wanna go all the way, tonight's the night...
I wanna go all the way tonight
I wanna go all the way, tonight's the night...

I wanna go all the way tonight
I wanna go all the way, tonight's the night...
I wanna go all the way tonight
I wanna go all the way, tonight's the night...


Intermezzo: Napster Broadcast

Ok here we go, we got a lot of files shared here,
Server down, nobody jailed, no trial,
Bottom of the preliminary, there's the injunction
And there it is - a stay of injunction
Look at them go! Those files can really fly!
They're back on track and really turning it up now
They're not letting up at all
They're gonna try for a buycott
The sales are wobbly thru the weekend
And here comes Lars, and what an ass!
They're gonna tour with Fred Durst, here he comes, he's in!
And wait, safe - safe with Gnutella!
These kids really make things happen out there!
Fanning steps out at the VMAs and makes a pitch --
He's going, and what a ploy he's got, he's trying for Lars
There's Carson Daly, in the shirt --
Lars asleep! Holy cow, Fanning's great!
They're taking a pretty big lead out there
Almost daring the RIAA to pick them off
The judge glances over, reads up, and it's bunted
Bunted up to the court of appeals, the MP3.com squeeze is on!
Here it comes, the MP3.com squeeze, they're gonna lose
Here's the ruling, there's the settlement out of court
Holy cow, I think they're gonna make it!


ACT II. Let Me Sleep On It

Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further...

Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of the night?
Will you call me a cab in the cold morning light?

Are you drug free?
Are you cracked out on smack?
Do you smoke weed?
Will you ever do E?
Will you make me do crystal from a bullet of chrome?
Will you need the viagra when you take me on home?

I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever!!!???

Let me sleep on it
Baby baby let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
And I'll give you an answer in the morning

Well I smoke some pot
Baby baby yeah I smoke some pot
A little humboldt green
It ain't no big scene in the morning

Okay I rave on E
Now and then I even take some G
But I don't drink too much
I wanna be sober in the morning

I gotta know right now!

Do you sell dope?
Will you give me some weed?
Will you share smoke?
Will you give me a toke?
It'll make me so mellow for the rest of the night
It'll make me so horny and my butthole real tight!

I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Will you fuck me?
And can I fuck you after?

(spoken)
What's it gonna be boy? C'mon!
I can go all night!
What's it gonna be boy, top or bottom?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Top...or...bottom?

Let me think a while
Baby I'm just not that versatile
Let me fuck you first
I'll bottom for you in the morning

I wanna top right now!

Do you love me?

Let me sleep on it
Do you love me forever?
Baby baby let me sleep on it
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Let me fuck you tonight
Will you make me so happy for the rest of the night?
And I'll bottom for you in the morning
Will you call me a cab in the cold morning light?
The morning, I'll bottom in the morning!

I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further
Will you fuck me?
And can I fuck you after?


Let me sleep on it...
Will you bottom for me, boy?
Let me sleep on it!!!
Will you bottom tonight, boy!!!???


ACT III. Praying For The End Of Time

I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when my climax came upon you
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my God and on my mother's grave
That I would love you til the end of time
I swore that I would love you til the end of time!

So now I'm praying for the morning light
Cuz I promised you my ass tonight
If I spend another minute with your dick up my ass
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying that you'll cum real soon
It's all that I can do - ooh! - Ooh! - OOOH!
I'm praying that you'll cum real soon so I can have my turn with you!


It was long and hard and it was oh so thick
A seventeen-year-old teenage dick

It never felt so good, like it's never been
We were screwing in the glow of the PC screen


It was long and hard and it was oh so thick
A seventeen-year-old teenage dick

It never felt so good, like it's never been
We were screwing in the glow of the PC screen


It was long and hard and it was oh so thick
A seventeen-year-old teenage dick

It never felt so good, like it's never been
We were screwing in the glow of the PC screen


(repeat vocal ad lib to fade)

[notes]

[original song]

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