collard greens

At a DfH dinner, the guest of honour was Ira's sister. We were booked into a long table in the front window of SOMA's trendy LuLu. The server rattled off the lengthy list of that evening's specials, many of which were accompanied by swiss chard as the vegetable. Ira mused out loud if it was possible to just order swiss chard with a side of swiss chard, whereupon Nutation asked "Why is it that only the Swiss have chard? Doesn't any other country have it?" I yelled from the other end of the table "Because the Swiss have no collard greens!!"

(This is much funnier if you know that swiss chard and collard greens taste pretty much the same except that fancy restaurants can serve swiss chard at four times the price for what amounts to 'soggy, dark green, vaguely muddy-tasting vegetables')

Nutation and I will sometimes use this anecdote to illustrate particularly egregious examples of pretentiousness (especially in restaurants) or as an all-purpose non-sequitur.