DfH

An acronym standing for Diners from Hell, this loosely-knit group came together for a few months in the spring and summer of 2000. Originally based on the Magnificent Seven, it gained new members from the channel, most notably claudeSF.

We called ourselves the DfH because going out to dinner en masse was sure to try the patience and professionalism of even the sharpest wait-staff. We could always be counted on to cause some good-natured, bawdy mischief at some of San Francisco's posher eateries. We especially liked to target restaurants whose pretentions were just begging to be taken down a notch or three. Here are a couple highlights:

2/20/2000: Benihana

Later dubbed "Timmyhana", this is the dinner that started it all. It was supposed to be a suprise party for Netboy's 23rd birthday and I was to bring Netboy to the Japantown Behihana where his friends had assembled some hour-and-a-half earlier. As fate and fags would have it...we were the first ones there. Everyone else was quite late. The food was only so-so, but the unintentionally entertaining chef (Mexican, incidentally -- the colors of their hats have meaning; don't get stuck with the yellow-hatted ones) more than made up for it. Bumbling is not the word for it -- it was like having a Mexican Jerry Lewis doing his Japanese-tourist schtick. Hup! Hey, why are there eggshells in my fried rice? And of course, we had a hostess who identified herself as "Riz" (her nametag, naturally, said "Liz" on it.)

3/05/2000: 42 Degrees

It was the end of a long evening meal filled with ribaldry where we had to shout to make ourselves heard over the live jazz that was amped waaaay too loud. A few of us had ordered a rather sculptural dessert -- I can't remember what it was, but I think it had chocolate in it -- topped with a rather phallic chocolate obelisk. We all commented to the server how phallic the dessert was, causing the poor woman to blush even more than she had been all night. When she got to Netboy, the obelisk fell over as she set the plate down. "Oh, I'm so sorry! That's never happened before!" she said, flustered. "That's alright....we can just cuddle" quipped Netboy. The whole table broke into laughter and the embarassed server scurried away. We left her a very large tip.

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