escalation of no

I spent six months in Colorado from October 1999 - March 2000. I was working on a consulting job with Decay- and Juhrom at a now-defunct ISP called Powerworx. While there, we came up with a way to deal with the seemingly endless flow of stupid questions and eminently impractical requests. We were saying "NO" so often we came up with a four-step hierarchy of progressively more forceful (and Dilbertian) ways of saying "NO". This became known as the escalation of no. The four tiers of no are as follows:

  1. NO : An 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper with the word "NO" printed on it in big black letters (288pt Helvetica Black). If you lifted it up, there was...
  2. HELL NO : Another sheet of paper with "HELL NO" written in 200pt Helvetica Black letters printed on it.
  3. HIT-THEM-OVER-THE-HEAD-WITH-NO : AKA the infamous RCoS (Rubber Chicken of Stupidity). An actual rubber chicken wielded by Decay-.
  4. NO-ON-A-PADDLE : Originally "no-on-a-stick", these were four oversize tabletennis paddles on which the word "NO" had been stencilled. These were brought into proposal meetings. If all four "no-on-a-paddle" signs were raised, the proposal was rejected.

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