horrible pattern

I first met Ira (then known on channel as "Darius") when he came to a #GaySF Movie Night with his friend Nutation. Ira's reputation, however, had preceded him and I was eager to meet him. We clicked quickly, and there was some mutual attraction between us. We danced around it for various reasons, all the while becoming closer friends.

There is a narrow window of opportunity that opens up between friends who are attracted to one another physically. It is after you get to know one another well enough to know that you could have a lot of fun, but before you become so close that it would be a lot of drama. For Ira and I, that window opened very briefly one afternoon, but we never got past making out. His relationship with GrayMattr had come to an end (but not to a resolution) and his relationship with TygR had not yet solidified. The window closed, the opportunity passed forever.

We talked about it and assessed it as bad timing. Nonetheless, we recognized that we had a closeness and an intimacy to our friendship that would surpass any fleeting physical encounter. Besides, this wasn't the first time for either of us that this had happened -- we ruefully joked that it was "part of some horrible pattern in our lives." From then on, we would greet each other on channel with "Spup horriblepatterns Ira" as a reminder of the way we felt about one another.

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