keying somebody's car

Okay, this is a long story, but it's one of my favourite anecdotes, not leastly because it involves both Tranceboy and Xerxes, neither of whom are the channel regulars they used to be. (Although Tranceboy occasionally comes on as CaliStBoy.) This dates back to the days when JRs in Walnut Creek was the only regular 18+ club and the place to go on Friday nights. Around this time (1998ish) Xerxes was running the Poorboy bot on the channel, and by some accounts, being quite huffy about it. (Xerxes? Huffy? wow, whodathunk it?)

At any rate, it was a Friday and Tranceboy was mouthing off in the channel and annoying various channel regulars, saying unkind (though not necessarily untrue) things about Xerxes, who wasn't actually on channel at the time (although his nick was online and off-channel, Xerxes himself wasn't at the keyboard). To no-one's suprise, the Poorboy bot kicked Tranceboy off the channel. This happened several times because Trancey had auto-rejoin enabled. Each time, Tranceboy got madder and more abusive. Finally, Poorboy kick-and-permabanned Tranceboy.

That night, at JR's, Xerxes' car (with its distinctive "UNIXHAQR" plates -- everyone on channel knew about those) got severely keyed -- not just a little scratch, but three deep gouges running the full length of both sides of his newly-painted car. Clearly, someone had it in for Xerxes. Meanwhile, inside the club, a breathless Tranceboy, grinning like an idiot, comes up to Nutation and the following exchange takes place:

Xerxes, of course, is furious. He vows to punish Tranceboy, but really there's no way to prove that Trancey was responsible. Some of us on channel think that this was the straw that broke the Poorboy's back -- shortly after this incident, Xerxes did his famous slam the channel door speech online and took Poorboy (and himself) offline, vowing never to return.

While Xerxes was not without his detractors (including myself, at the time), many felt that damaging someone's property was beyond the pale and there was widespread belief of the allegation that Trancey was, indeed, responsible. Syke, for instance, was one of the louder denouncers of Trancey's alleged actions. About six months later, Tranceboy will discover that Back Orifice has been installed on his machine when syke releases some choice tidbits of Trancey's online behaviours. (see: assfuck me 'til I shit blood) Coincidence? Hmmmm.

But wait! There's more! It turns out that it wasn't Xerxes who made the Poorboy bot kick and permaban Tranceboy off the channel that Friday after all. Xerxes wasn't even online (although his nick was signed in and idle.) In fact, it had been Decay- (also no fan of Tranceboy's) who was controlling the Poorboy bot at that time. Had Decay- unwittingly set into motion a series of events that led to Xerxes' car being keyed? JRs is long closed. The Poorboy bot is dead, its logs purged. Xerxes refuses to talk about the incident. Tranceboy has moved to Southern California and to this day denies he was responsible. Perhaps we'll never know.

In contemporary usage, when someone is acting vindictive, some of the old-skoolers who remember this incident will ask "what are you gonna do now? key his car (supposedly)?" (see: supposedly)