I first met carapace in early 1998, at Decay-'s house. I was sitting in Decay-'s dining room, flipping through a copy of "Joy of Cooking" when carapace came over. Both carapace and I are avid cooks (whereas Decay-, most definitely, is not) so we got along famously from the start.

This was one of the original editions of "Joy of Cooking," published in the days when a woman's place was in the kitchen and she was expected to spend HOURS on the evening meal for her man. This included making painstakingly intricate garnishes/food sculptures that in all likelihood would go unnoticed by her caveman of a husband as he shovelled forkfulls of steak and potato into his voracious gob.

One such garnish was something called a "channelled mushroom", which involved carving a spiral pattern of grooves into the top of perfectly white raw mushroom using the tip of a very sharp paring knife. "Who has time to channel a mushroom nowadays?" I mused out loud. "That's when you hire a special mushroom psychic to channel your mushrooms for know....ommmushroommmm..."quipped carapace.