Pabster, titles of

The concept of giving an individual in the gay community "titles" is familiar to anyone with some knowledge of drag queens -- particularly anyone who is familiar with the International Court System, which got started in San Francisco. But it is not just drag queens that can have titles. Basically, titles are given to honor a particular individual for some aspect of their character or personality. They are usually flattering, often silly, and always amusing

Lovable, irrascible, and sometimes vacuous, Pabster is an enduring (if not always endearing) presence on #gaysf. Over the years, he's acquired a few amusing nicknames and while they may not be titles per se, they still merit some anecdotes.

The Lancôme Latino

Pabz is a bit of a vain queen and he likes to look good. He knows his way around his cosmetics. The Lancôme company, of course, is one of the most well-known and respected cosmetics firms in the world. And while Pabster's of Venezuelan extraction, the alliteration of "Lancôme Latino" made this nickname stick. Decay- and I came up with this one.

Edward Tweezerhands

The SOMA bar known as The EndUp (because that's where you "end up" after everything else closes) is located mere steps away from Ira's apartment (currently being sublet to TheLarch). In fact, you can see The EndUp from Ira's apartment window. Anyways, Ira's apartment became something of a crash pad for out-of-town channel people who'd indulged a bit too much at The EndUp and needed a place within staggering distance. Pabster availed himself of it on many an occasion.

One memorably long weekend, Pabster was at Ira's place for three or four days, in varying states of coherence and sobreity. Ira fretted that having Pabster around meant that the number of haircare/skincare/cosmetic items had increased exponentially over the weekend. He quite literally stumbled over a box of tweezers that Pabster had brought with him. Recalling the scene from the 1990 film "Edward Scissorhands", where Johnny Depp's character creates bouffant topiary out of the high-haired neighbour ladies, Ira immediately dubbed Pabster "Edward Tweezerhands". This was accompanied by an indescribably frenzied hand gesture/pantomime that can really only be done justice by seeing Ira do it. Those who have seen it know exactly what I'm talking about.


Pabster's behaviour online can often be...well, random. Any conversation threads that may be happening are completely ignored by his outbursts. Usually, they're about music, dancing, or drugs. Even if no one else responds to him, Pabz will sometimes go right on blabbering, seemingly completely oblivious. I recall him one time spending 45 minutes trying to decide what to eat for lunch and then not having time to actually go eat it. All the while he kept up a one-sided running commentary into the channel.

This behaviour inspired corsican to write the Pabbot, a kind of ELIZA-like bot entity that could behave like Pabster. It has been out of sight for a while, but it was a cleverly built stream-of-barely-consciousness engine that actually logged things the real Pabster said on channel and built a library of responses the Pabbot could spew out. Adjustments were made for the speed and volume of responses. Even though the Pabbot responded at random, sometimes what was said was downright eerie in the way the queries were answered. For instance:

Nutation and corsican were going to write some primitive AI into the Pabbot but the question arose whether the Pabbot would then be more sentient than the real Pabster. It was ClaudeSF who observed that while the Pabbot could almost pass the Turing Test, it was questionable whether Pabster himself could. The AI project was abandoned.