(to) spill a drink on Nutation

For some reason no-one quite understands (least of all Nutation), Nutation tends to attract small, skinny, asian boys (see: AAS). While he doesn't categorically reject boys based on ethnicity, Nutation doesn't find most of these would-be suitors to be attractive. Trouble is, when he politely rebuffs them, some of them won't take no for an answer.

Nutation has several (platonic) friends who are asian -- Decay- and myself, for instance -- and because we sometimes club together, there are those that will ASSUME that Nutation must be a ricequeen. One memorable incident occurred at The Café, where Decay- and Nutation had gone for an evening's clubbing. At that time, Nutation had dyed his dark hair blue, which seemed to attract admiring swarms of little asian boys. (The quote "How you do dat wif you haiah?" comes from this memorable evening. This is also the source of Nutation's somewhat bitter comment about being "...stalked by Pokémons.")

One guy who had been eyeing them all night turned out to be cruising Decay-. As the evening progressed, the guy kept getting drunker until, emboldened by the alcohol, he staggered over to where Decay- and Nutation were standing. He began to flirt (drunkenly, badly) with Decay-, pointedly ignoring Nutation. When Decay- attempted to introduce Nutation, the man fixed Nutation with a baleful stare. "Oh, is he your boyfriend?" the man slurred contempuously. Then, without waiting for Decay- to answer, he spilled the rest of his drink on Nutation. Grabbing Decay-'s arm, he implored him to "Just leave him...come away with me, I'm much better-looking than he is, don't you agree?"

Nutation stood agape, dripping with alcohol, more bemused than outraged by this bizarre incident. Decay-, however, managed to recover his wits in time to inform the drunken guy that "First, he's not my boyfriend; and second, if he was, I'd be fixin' ta beat the shit out of you right about now" Right about that time, club security (who are friends with Nutation) tossed the would-be interloper out of the club. Nowadays, whenever Nutation comes back from a so-so date or night at the clubs, we remind him that it could be worse; at least nobody spilled a drink on him.

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